in april of 2007 i left my husband.

2006 had been an extremely hard year for me. for all of us really. i had been seriously misdiagnosed by a physician and was on all of this crazy medication. i couldn’t function. at all.

my dad passed away.

i couldn’t take care of my kids needs…physical or emotional. i couldn’t work full-time. we had to move from our beautiful 4 bedroom home into an apartment because i had to go from my 50K plus a year job to less than half the pay. we had to move into an apartment.

my husband resented how i failed him. (i felt like i failed my family) then the physical abuse started. the emotional abuse had been going on most of our marriage.

so i left. i went home to indiana to live with my mom and sister. due to the physical, emotional and over-medicated state i was in, the boys stayed here in missouri with their dad. at the time, i knew in my heart that was the best situation for them.

while i was in indiana, my mom invited me to attend Celebrate Recovery with her. at one point i had been using my prescribed pain medications to escape from everything that was going on in my life, but that was no longer an issue, so i really didn’t think i needed a 12 step program. when mom explained to me that CR was for dealing with all of life’s hurts, habits, and hangups, i decided to give it a try. i had no idea how it would change my life forever.

i found that there were other people just like me. people who were hurting. people who needed a safe place to go and just be heard. not judged. not fixed. not preached at. a place to be loved.

there were people struggling with:

  • anger
  • loss of a child
  • food addiction
  • physical, sexual, and psychological abuse
  • divorce
  • anxiety
  • loneliness
  • chemical dependency
  • codependency
  • sexual addiction
  • pornography addiction

and so much more. i also found that these people were not defined by their struggles. you cannot imagine the burden that was lifted from me that day.

when the first person introduced herself, she did not say, “hi, my name is Jane, and i AM an ADDICT.”

She said; ” hi, my name is Jane and i STRUGGLE with ADDICTION.

i don’t know what you might be struggling with in your life right now, but i do know this: whatever it is, it does not define you. it is not WHO you ARE. it is simply what you STRUGGLE with.

As for me, my name is Pamela, i am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ, and i struggle with:

  • divorce
  • anxiety
  • food addiction
  • sexual addiction
  • chemical dependency (past)

for a Celebrate Recovery group in your area: CR group locator